Well, we took a poll and all in the family agreed that there has been WAY too much going on around here lately and after Andy and I had a major blowout on Friday night, I am in agreement. We have been running around like crazy people, working and playing WAY TOO HARD! I have learned that there actually is such a thing as too much FUN! We are going to spend more time at home, just hanging out and maybe even doing nothing!
I am understanding that I cannot expect everything to be done NOW and perfectly and that somethings I must just do myself (and get over it). I am telling you, for a grown up, I really don't know much...at all! I think that I have it all figured out and then, I realize that the rules have changed, or that we are playing a different game entirely! I seem to think that my husband is superhuman and can fix dinner, clean the kitchen, put the kids to bed AND do all of the "man" jobs like fix stuff and take care of the yard (oh, and balance that with the new job that he has this year!) I am wrong, he can't... just like I can't go to school, go to work, do the paperwork and household chores, spend time with kids, scrapbook, work out AND still have the time and energy to work on projects until midnight. I am ... human. So is he. That is it. My secret is out! I CAN'T DO IT ALL. I can do some of it and I can do some of it well and the rest of it will either not be done, or done "half-assed". What I really want for my family is to do some of it and BE HAPPY. Whatever the cost, be it messy house, unfinished projects, dirty cars, unkempt yards.... I want us to get along and to enjoy our lives.
Don't get me wrong and go thinking that I am going to let everything go to pot and be joyous about it. I am just saying that I am going to try to let more things go and focus on what really matters. I will still probably hate the clutter and the brown patches on the lawn, but I would rather be known for my happy, wonderful family than for my Martha like home and yard. Really! (boy, that is hard to say, and I am sure that it will be even harder to live with) Today, I worked out and then I went to Lowe's to get the things that I thought Andy would get ('cause he is the man and men do that stuff) but realized that they were MY priority and not his. I also bought new plants for the porch, 'cause the ones we planted last spring are half dead and not really working in the space. I look at them everytime I walk in the door and wish that "someone" would do something about it, so I am, and I think that I am going to go and plant them, as soon as I get off of the computer!
After that, I am going to put on the handles for the laundry room cabinet, fold the laundry and maybe replace the hinges that are the wrong color. I will not get "everything" done today that "needs" to be done. But I will also do some of my homework and fix dinner and read to my kids. After that, I will see how many more hours (or minutes) are left before I retire to the couch to watch t.v. for an hour (which I am learning that I deserve!) before getting myself off to bed. I am going to work harder at taking care of ME... (and not by getting manicures or having days at the spa, but by being nicer to myself and accepting my human-ness). I am going to work harder at taking care of my family too, in this same way. I think that I spend so much time taking care of the house and the shopping and the laundry and the, and the, and the.. I forget about taking care of our hearts and our souls...
Off on another journey I am.... one of a deeper level of understanding and acceptance. I think that I have packed well and I really hope that I haven't forgotten anything.
p.s. We did not put together any of the furniture this weekend...we hung out, laughed, played, watched a movie, ate popcorn, went to a birthday party, had dinner as a family... and Andy replaced all of the switches and outlets in the family room, kitchen and laundry room. We will see how we do next weekend!
4 comments:
ahh the ever elusive balance.
yeah...not so easy. keep trying! as i think it is for all of us, some days good, some days more of a challange.
I think you're on the right track--family first. One very wise woman told me long ago that people should always come before things. So when your daughter wants you to read her a book but the laundry is calling, you take time out for your daughter. Easier said than done in my experience, but a great goal to strive for! My best to you on this new journey!
I find myself wondering if I will be able to do it all should I go back to school in the fall. I don't care what anybody says, credentialing kicks the snot out of you...enjoy your family!
Well done. It's great to just breathe! Nobody is designed to work, work, work. We all need a little R & R (or a lot)!
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